Girl Talk

I recently found a great site for finding and reading blogs. It’s called AlphaInventions and it’s a great place for blog-addicts. Basically random blogs pop up on screen for a minute or two and you “stop” the scroll when you find something you like..loads of fun! I found a few about friends and girl talk in general…which got me to thinkin’…

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Women talk, this is what I love the most about all my girlfriends. We chat, we question, we explain, we probe, we get to the heart of whatever is on the table be it politics, our kids, shoes or our love lives. Take a note guys…this is why we live longer than you on average, we wouldn’t dream of dying in the middle of a great GF conversation and we’re almost always in the midst of one of those! I will also offer a warning to our friends of the masculine persuasion….we talk about our internet dates…a lot.

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A while back I was out for coffee with my friend Jill. She was also dating online at the time, on the same site that I was on and, since she and I were the same age, was running across a lot of the same profiles that I was finding. Jill was complaining about a less than successful date she’d had the night before.

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“I sort of had my doubts about meeting him and I really should have listened to myself. His profile said he wanted to be friends first but later it went on to talk about sex and how he loved to give foot massages. He really went on about the foot thing too.”

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“So why did you go out with him,” I asked.

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Jill thought for a second. “Well, he sent this really beautiful email and he included a poem that he wrote. It was something about comparing a woman to a peach blossom. I thought he might be the sensitive, poetic type.”

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I sipped my coffee and wondered why what she was saying seemed naggingly familiar. “Apparently he wasn’t”.

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“Oh God no! He was sort of creepy. He kept staring at my feet. He asked me twice what my shoe size was and I swear, once I’m sure I caught him licking his lips while he was looking down at my toes.”

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Feet, poem, beautiful email…suddenly it all clicked into place. “Uh, Jill did his email start out with This morning while sipping a Mocha Latte I read your profile and as I did I felt the simmering warmth of connection. and did the poem start out with She opens like a soft dew kissed peach blossom on a spring morn?”

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Jill gaped at me…”YES”.

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“Oh my God Jill, you actually went out and MET Bad Poetry Guy?!”

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This wasn’t the first time that Jill and I had been contacted by the same person. More often than not I was the one to pass on meeting him based on profiles and emails. Poor Jill though would meet him first before realizing that this was so not a good match.

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“Sadly…yes. Sha, how is it that you peg these guys from what they write and I have to suffer through a sit-down with them?”

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We then did our girl-thing. We talked, we probed, we analyzed, we came to the grand conclusion. You see, Jill had a job that required her to do a lot of hiring, basically she interviewed people all day. I, on the other hand, have a long background in local theater. To create a role on stage I have to read the script, find the sub-text and figure out what makes this character tick from nothing more than the written word. Jill had to “interview” her dates to find out if they were a match. I was better at reading the sub-text in what they wrote. Case solved.

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So now I’m curious as to whether you are an “interviewer” or a sub-text “interpreter”. Or do you fit into another category altogether? Are you a guy who does a “cut and paste” of the same email to everyone you connect with online? If you do, you should think twice about that in the future….girls talk you know.

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Journey into the Secret Garden with Debra Moffitt



Path of Flowers
Gate of the Garden

Gate of the Garden

I took a course at the IWWG Conference, JOURNEY INTO THE SECRET GARDEN. It was given by Debra Moffitt. It was a spiritually creative class that allowed you to visualize your secret garden where your thoughts and creativity can be seen, evaluated and changed.

It started with the birth of imagination. She asked us to meditate and follow along a path and enter the gate of our Secret Garden.

She asks us to go into our secret garden and describe what we see there. And to sit alone and walk around our secret garden. What symbols do we see? What surprises and array of colors lay before us? What does it look like? How do we feel?




Allow your mind to relax and allow your imagination to meet your heart and soul.

Garden in Woods[

Now describe your Secret Garden!

My secret garden initially had a lot of high grass and weeds. But, as I walked in further there were 2 sections. To the left there were wild and rambling flowers and trees. To the right, were well manicured gardens with even bushes and a fountain with water.

I had to laugh … 2 gardens in one where one garden was a bit scattered and wild and the other very organized and manicured. Ah-ha … perhaps the 2 sides of my personality. Perhaps representing my inner dichotomy. I don’t know, but it sure is interesting to explore this! Or, maybe it just means I need to get the weeds out of my life and need to clean my condo!

Manicured Garden

Manicured Garden

As you change so does your garden. It is a reflection of where you are and where you want to go. So, I decided to change my garden and add tall trees with Christmas lights and a section with tropical flowers … all sitting next to the serene ocean as the sun light shines and reflects the peacefullness of my garden.


All of this is but a minor exercise of a week long journey into your secret garden, a garden that is yours and yours alone.

Debra Moffitt, a published author, provides classes for conferences and seminars on this amazing meditative and spiritual exploration of your imagination and creativity. Please make sure to check out her blog and website. She has taught at the IWWG Conference at Skidmore and the Southern Women’s Writers Conference, among others. Contact Debra Moffitt at so she can help lead you to your secret garden.

I think these exercises and tools of meditation and writing allow you to find peace and serenity within yourself. And, when you do, you are happier. And, that joy and peace are obvious to those you meet whether it is family, friends, … or dare I say it … A POTENTIAL ON LINE DATE!

As I go weed and clean my condo, please tell us about your experience if you try this exercise.

Thanks again for indulging me in presenting some of the subjects and teachers from the IWWG Conference at Skidmore.

More to come,

Happy Flowers

Happy Flowers


A Nurturing Weekend at Skidmore

Helping Hands

Helping Hands

Hi, It’s Mariann.

I have been quiet on the online dating site these past few weeks and have decided to take a break and nurture my creative interests.

I attended the IWWG (International Women’s Writing Guild) at Skidmore this past weekend. It ran from June 12th to June 19th. I was only able to do a long weekend but it was a wonderful and insightful weekend.

The class offerings varied from the nuts and bolts of writing to exploring your writing by using various tools taught by different teachers to the exploration of Spirit/Mind/Body.

I took a diverse group of classes so I could get a full flavor of the courses and teachers. It was a fun and nurturing environment that supported and encouraged women to write and express themselves.


I sit here in a bit of a quandry about life from dating to work to my creative endeavors. And my time in a supportive environment at IWWG’s conference at Skidmore helped me to reflect and focus.

I strongly recommend to any woman reading this to look into and join the IWWG. And, to definately consider attending the conference at Skidmore in June 2010.

I am looking for direction.

What Path to take?

What Path to take?

I look to myself, my intuition, and my heart.

Ok, I admit it, I read the horoscope in the weekly TV guide. And, YES, I am curious about astrology. I am part skeptic and part believer. I wonder how it can be that the date and time we can be born has some bearing on who we are, our environment and what we do.


So, I was more than fascinated by a class offered at Skidmore about how Astrology and your sign can impact what you write about.

It was given by Shelley Ackerman who is a well known astologer. After class, I asked if she gave private readings. She did! So, I made an appointment. I was amazed at her insight and accuracy about me and where I am in life and what paths lie before me.

It a wierd way, it validated some of the feelings and frustrations and challenges that I have had in the recent past and how I feel about the future.

I would strongly recommend that for anyone interested in a reading, you contact Shelley Ackerman at Karmic Relief. Let me know if you go and how it was.

Many wonderful people were met, new friends were made, and creative experiences were had.

I took some other classes that really impressed me and I will talk further about those classes and writing exercises in my next blog.

Thanks for listening!
We all need to express our creativity and explore where we are in life and what we want. It is never too late to do this. And, writing and joining groups are a great way to start that process.

So, Write, Write, Write … Explore, Explore, Explore … Share, Share, Share and let us know what you are thinking about life, dating, a paradigm shift you had, an insight … and how you are dealing with keeping yourself balanced in such stressful times.

If I can provide any recommendations or resources to you, please ask and I will do my best to comply.

I look forward to hearing from you.


On Kissing Toads

When I think about online dating I’m reminded of that old phrase, “You’ve got to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince charming.” Most of us heard that from our mothers, who heard it from their mothers, who heard it from…you get the picture. I really can’t think of a more perfect phrase for online dating though. Let’s face it, the internet has got to be the biggest lily pond in the world. I’ve spent quite some time splashing around in it too and I met my share of toads. There was, Twitchy Eye Guy, Bad Poetry Guy, He’s Dated All My Friends And Now He’s Contacting Me Guy and many more (details on these gems to follow in future posts). You really need a well developed sense of humor to manage hopping from stone to stone without falling into the icky pond water. And, if you’re patient too, you really can find a prince, or at least a really nice guy who has a dog named prince.

A while back I was about to take a hiatus from the online thing. I need to do this once in a while, when I feel like I’m losing my sense of humor. As I discovered early on in order to date online one must have a sense of humor about the whole venture. If you don’t it just becomes sad and frustrating, leading you to prefer spending Saturday nights alone with a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s Triple Caramel Chunk ice cream.

I had, just prior to this, been contacted by someone who sounded promising in the emails we shared. No apparent bad habits from what I could gather. Of course it’s almost impossible to tell from an email if someone is a compulsive nose picker or has some other anti-social habit. So, it’s important to meet at some point. Problem was this person, who shall forever be known as I’ll Rest When I’m Dead Guy, never seemed to have time to spare. For Pete’s sake, there’s a Starbuck’s on every corner in the U.S., how hard can it be to find a half an hour to spend in one? We finally agreed to get together on a particular Sunday. Luckily I called his cell that morning to confirm. He was 40 miles away at a craft fair with a group of friends.

“Gee, this came up at the last minute. Don’t think I’ll be able to get back in time. Can we try for one night this week?” He actually sounded confused, as if he had no recollection of making this date with me the day before. My hankering for a Sunday afternoon Latte went flying out the window, along with my sense of humor.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll call you this week.” I never did. He, however, did manage to email me later in the week. It went unanswered. If you can’t chuckle about the wackos you meet online, it’s time for a break.

How about you, dear readers? Have you kissed some memorable toads, or narrowly avoided having to kiss them? Is your sense of humor still intact? Should I buy you a pint of Ben & Jerry’s?

Til next time,