Tweaking The Online Dating Profile…Again

I’ll admit it, I like all things internet…not just online dating. I’m a social media       nut. More so even than my son, who’s of an age where HE should be the one with his nose buried in his smart phone as he tweets, posts, comments, and blogs. But no…that’s me. My friends think it’s hysterically funny and my son…well, he just shakes his head and sighs. I think he’s beyond being embarrassed by me and has just accepted the fact that mom’s “a little different”.

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So, of course I like online dating. Even though I find it frustrating at times, I still basically have great fun with it. Like all social media I’m on, I like to “tweak”…which means that I post different pictures every few months to see if I get more/different/better quality responses. Certainly not a scientific poll but those nice head and shoulders shots of me smiling brightly seem to be winning in terms of getting likes and emails and comments.

SEO Counts, Even In Dating Profiles

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I also update my profile on a fairly regular basis. When I took up Yoga, I added that into my profile. When I briefly dated a guy who was really into cooking, he got me hooked on The Food Network and all things “foodie”. So of course my profile now reflects my new-found interest in cooking. And I have gotten interesting responses to new things that I’ve added to my profile. It does help too that and quite a few other dating sites will “bump” your profile up to the top of the search list whenever you make even the smallest change to your profile. Yes…SEO counts, even in dating profiles!

Men Are Visual Creatures

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My latest tweak came about from a comment or two I’d gotten from online connections. A few guys commented that my writeup was a bit too long. Hmmmm….it REALLY ticked me off. Seriously?? My first thoughts were WTF…Are you illiterate?, WHAT? You have ADD and can’t read more than ten words at a time??. Upon reflection, and a glass of Pinot, it dawned on me that men are just too visual. Even the most educated of males will skim the written profile, decide if your pix are “cute” and take it from there. I think I need to learn some patience in this area.

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So, although my “old” profile gave a clear and (I think) cleverly written overview of who I am and who I’m looking for, I shortened it. So, that is my latest tweak and so far it’s working …My inbox is deliciously full of emails and winks to explore. I will let you all know how it goes ;)

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Of course, being a writer…I’d still love to find a guy who loves to read as much as I like to write…but I’ll start with the cute pix, shortie profile and see what happens!

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HELLO? Too Much Information

too_much_informationEver been out on a date and you are having fun talking and then someone shares something with you that makes you wince and think, “yikes, that was just too much information.” It can completely throw you off your game. Suddenly, it can be like the purple elephant in the room and all you can focus on is that one tidbit of information you did not want to know.


It’s akin to an experience I had where an author friend brought me to meet a friend of hers who was a psychic, mind reader and intuitive. We were going to her suite at a posh NYC Hotel to have dinner and my friend told me this info about her friend about 30 seconds before we got to the door. And, of course, all I could do was think, “is she reading my mind now? Her husband is sort of cute, I don’t see them together … ugh oh … did she just hear that? Nope, I am only going to have simple and positive thoughts. God, I really would love some champagne. Why didn’t they order any drinks? Ugh-oh, I hope that wasn’t rude and she can read my mind and now she thinks I am annoyed.”  Well, that is how my thoughts went for the next 3 hours. It was terrible. Although she did tell me she did not see me with the guy I was with, that my technical job was killing my creative self and said I should move asap and go to CA where I would meet someone who was very laid back, almost like an older surfer dude, and get serious with him. WOW! I did break up with the guy. Did not move to CA. Yes, would like to not work in Corp America. But, I much prefer sophistic blue double breasted suit or swim suit surfer dude. I’ll keep you posted.


But, I digress. We have all said things at times we wish we hadn’t. But recently, I met someone on line and he seemed nice. We finally chatted live and he told me that he loved to be told what to do … that he was like a cocker spaniel and was easy to train … and he loved by lingerie and would prefer to do that over baseball, which he loved. OK, he told me 3 times that he would love to buy me lingerie. That was TMI and quite icky! I did not go out with him. Besides, I want to date a guy, not a dog!

I caution myself and others that perhaps they think before they talk … count to 10 and say to yourself, “is what I am about to say too much info or inappropriate? “If you don’t answer NO immediately, then keep your mouth shut and think of something else to say. Especially on a first date or two it really is good to just keep it light and interesting so you can learn about each other over time.


Have you ever had one of those, “ugh-on TMI” moments? Please share!
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