Why Men Flirt

We have a guest post this week from Allison Shleck of Dating Online. Visit her site for dating tips, site reviews and the latest news in the dating world.

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Most men love to have some type of interaction with women. They especially like the opportunity to practice flirting with them. Men like to flirt with women, regardless as to whether or not, they are married, have a girlfriend, or even when they are not interested in the woman that they are flirting with. Flirting tends to give a man a sense of feeling that he still has his charm and he knows how to use it. Sometimes men will flirt and not even realize that they are flirting, this behavior is also very common in women. There is really no harm in engaging in the act of flirting, as long as you know how far to take it.

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As mentioned above, a lot of men like to flirt because although they may have a woman that they love very much in their life, they want to still feel that they possess the charm that once allowed them to meet and date numerous women. No one ever wants to feel that they have lost their charm. Once again there is nothing wrong with harmless flirting, you just have to be careful and make sure that you do not do anything that will jeopardize what you have at home. You do not want the actions that come about from flirting to hurt someone that you really care about. You also do not want to give the wrong signal to the individual that you are flirting with. If you know that nothing will come about as a result of the flirting, because that is simply what it is to you which is flirting, you will have to be careful that the object of your flirting will not take you too seriously.

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Some men are just naturally playful and they may not even be trying to flirt with the woman. Unfortunately, if you do not want your actions to be misconstrued as something else, then you need to be sure that the individual on the other end understands that you are not trying to hit on them. If you are joking around with a woman who you know has an attraction for you, you may want to re- think your behavior if you are not interested in her in the same way. Sometimes people read signals the wrong way and what you think is innocent and playful, the other person may think that is the green light for them to express their interest to get to know you on another level.

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A good rule of thumb to follow for someone who likes to flirt is to try and keep your flirting to a minimum when you are in certain settings. The workplace is definitely not a very good place to indulge in any type of flirting. Nowadays, people are being charged with sexual-harassment charges at the workplace more frequently. This would be a very unpleasant situation, especially if you do not mean any harm by the flirting. Catching a sexual harassment charge at your place of employment will jeopardize the lifestyle that you live. You could lose everything that you have and no one wants to be in that predicament.

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Flirting is just something that men and women enjoy doing and it can be a good and healthy thing. A lot of times it just happens naturally and they do not even realize that they are flirting until they are well into it. If you are flirting just to make someone else fill good about themselves, just be careful so that no one gets hurt and make sure you do not carry it too far.

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Re-discovering Laura Branigan

It was 11:55pm and I was glancing at the clock thinking I should go to bed. I was finishing a cup of tea and decided to skim the myriad of channels I think I subscribe too. I saw the opening credits of FLASHDANCE and I was hooked. This movie was like an anthem for the working girl who was more than she seemed. I had forgotten the scene where Jennifer Beals takes off her bra while still wearing her shirt … in front of the very cute boss (Michael Nourri) … at the time I thought this maneuver was quite bold.

As the movie played along, Laura Branigan’s GLORIA bounced out of the TV. OMG … in that instant, I was transported to another time in life. One I had forgotten. One I thought was worse at the time but in hindsight, was actually a good time. I wish I had appreciated it. With a few notes, the floodgates opened to memories and experiences that were locked deep in my mind (I’m blond, so that’s not too deep!). As remembrances of parties and friends brought a smile to my face, so too came back images of guys who I either dated or had such a crush on that I could barely put two sentences together.

Amazing to me that there were people and events that happened that I forgot about and 3 notes opened up that box of jewels … in the voice of Laura Branigan singing GLORIA. So, I then immediately went to iTunes and downloaded several of her songs … some I knew and others I am only discovering now. Seems fitting to be discovering her new songs when an old song of hers caused me to re-discover part of my past friends, loves and fun times.

Do you remember Laura Branigan? I thought she had a great voice. Remember this? Ya gotta love those solid gold dancers from the 80s! LOL

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVnI9X5p9JQ]

It is a shame what happened to Laura Branigan. She died in 2004 from a brain aneurysm. It makes you realize that while you remember and treasure memories, it is important to live life and create new memories every day!

Go, run back to your past and play a song or watch a video and see what memories it unlocks.

Tell me what you remembered … I would love to hear it.

Thanks for letting me ramble!
Mariann

Figs Aren’t Fruit

We have a tasty guest post this week from Chloé Yelena Miller. You can read more from her at:
Writing & Writing Teacher’s Blog: http://chloeyelenamiller.blogspot.com/
Cooking Blog: http://farelascarpetta.blogspot.com/

When I met my husband-to-be online, I couldn’t cook dinner for him because I was living with my parents. The good news? He still went out with me even without my wooing him with food and, um, the fact that I lived with my parents. My excuse, that I recently graduated from an MFA program and was living a financially responsible life was a good one, but still a potential turn-off.

I desperately wanted to cook for him. I love to cook: boiling pasta I think about the flavors in the sauce and the dinner conversation. I had to wait, though. We met online and then in New York City. We spent our first dates going to museums, art movies and restaurants. When I saw what he ordered, I’d think, “I could make you that. And it would taste even better!” I had to keep reminding myself that no matter how much I liked him, I had to avoid being a show-off and freaking him out. Maybe he wasn’t already thinking about what we’d eat for his birthday dinner eight months away.

The first time he invited me into his apartment, I noticed his collection of knives pointing up on a magnet strip. His apartment wasn’t that big; the long blades caught the light and my attention. Being a nervous dater, I forgot about the asparagus or porcinis I could slice with them and thought about their other uses. That is, before I looked into his soft eyes and remembered that I wanted to make him dinner.

Once we progressed to the point that I was visiting him regularly in his apartment, I started to openly plot what I could make in that small kitchen with books on the stovetop. The first thing I made was vegetable risotto. For an appetizer, I wrapped figs with prosciutto. I knew my husband-to-be hated to eat raw fruit, but maybe I could craft a dish so delicious – ah, the salty and sweet combination – that he would see how I could change his life.

He didn’t have a kitchen table and we ate that first meal with bowls on our laps in a blue chair with a deep C-curve built for one. He ate slowly and asked for more freshly grated parmesan on his risotto. He popped a few figs in his mouth and declared that they were so good they couldn’t be fruit. Two high compliments from this lovely bearded man sitting thigh-to-thigh with me.

I was pleased to hear that I miscalculated the serving sizes and he ate my dish for days afterwards. I stayed with him in that little apartment even after I left.

Did he end up with a stereotypical Italian-American nonna who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Maybe. But don’t worry, we divide the chores equally now. I do the fun parts, like cooking. He does most of the cleaning and heavy lifting. And we eat together every night.

Future Perfect

Here’s a guest post from Cafe Girl.

If you live a life in the future perfect, it makes the present tense – Café Girl

 Living in the present takes practice. It’s not always easy to be conscious of the present moment in my daily life let alone in a romantic relationship that is just picking up steam. Let’s face it, who doesn’t have expectations? You’d have to be a highly evolved Buddhist monk or an accomplished ascetic to achieve this state.

 Forget the “c” word (commitment), it’s the “e” word (expectations) that’s the problem.  We’re conditioned by popular culture to have expectations. Movies, music, countless magazines, and books, they all tell us how it’s supposed to be. They sow the weeds of discontent which we must remember to pluck from our garden if it is to thrive. Charles Dickens wasn’t the only one to have Great Expectations. We all do.

 Over the years and with lots of practice, my expectations of people have become less and less. I would like to say that they’ve become non-existent but that’s just not true. I haven’t achieved that level of detachment so I’m not quite ready for the monastery yet. However I have gotten much better at managing my expectations.

 They’ve been scaled back from a vision of happily ever complete with his and her towels to daydreaming about a romantic weekend getaway next month. And when I can manage them down to the present moment, I will have achieved nirvana. But until then…

 I often think of that scene in the movie Bridget Jones’s Diary where Bridget fast forwards from the present moment of racy emails with the office scoundrel directly to her wedding reception in the blink of an eye.  Mustn’t read too much into it she thinks to herself. How many times have I projected myself in the future? I don’t even want to think about it.  Eish!

 Time travel isn’t the stuff of science fiction it’s the stuff of every day life, it is such stuff as dreams are made on. The future perfect is perhaps built on tantalizing glimpses of the possibilities sometimes given intentionally – sometimes not. Regardless it’s our propensity to project with even the slightest bit of encouragement that unfortunately affects our here and now.  So what happens when the future doesn’t unfold like I have led myself to believe? It becomes the present tense.

Thanks to Cafe Girl for sharing this! Be sure to visit her at http://cafegirlchronicles.wordpress.com/