Dear Diary – Where are ALL the Normal Men?

Dear Diary,

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Where have all the good men gone? Where are all the normal guys? Why is it so hard for guys to write just ONE email that has complete sentences with punctuation and no abbreviations?

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I know I am asking but not expecting to get any answers back. I had taken a hiatus from dating for a while. I was busy at work and then wanted to spend some time on me … just me … my health … my exercise … my fashion … my writing. When that was in balance, I decided to venture back into the world of online dating.

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I clicked on several profiles and cast a wide and accepting net.

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I am not quite sure why guys who I email respond and tell me, “Thanks. But, I just met someone and we are dating and I am giving that a shot.” And, then … everytime I am on line I see they are constantly on line which makes me think they were lying and I would have rathered they not even email me with such an excuse.

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One guy seemed cute, but he did not smile in his profile pic. And, the story in his profile told why. He went to the wake of the mother of a friend of his only to find himself at the wrong wake. And when he was on the receiving line realized it just as the daughter of the person who passed hugged him and said, “tell me what you remember about her?” He said (about this stranger no less) … “how beautiful she was.” The mourner teared and the guy left. On his way out, he took a pic of himself. Really? That’s when you say to your self … gee, maybe I should take a pic of myself now coming out of a wrong wake … and then post it on a dating site. Really?!?! Really?!!? Just askin ….

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Then, this same person emails me and each email maxes out at 5 abbreviated words. He wants to talk. If his conversations are anything like his email, it will last all of a minute. Yes, some guys are not great with email. But an email with an “X X” in the subject line with the text of the email that says, “how are you?” Really?!?! That’s all he could muster? Just askin ….

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One guy, Gomez, told me I was beautiful and that he knew he would marry me as soon as he saw my pic. Ugh – oh … he sure was wrong on that one. DELETE.

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And why when you ask a man who has children to tell you a little about himself, he turns it into an itinerary about his children’s sports and school schedule? That is about them. I want to know about YOU. Is this too much to ask? Apparently, in many cases, it is.

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Not a fan of Brittany Spears … but this seemed fitting:

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I am sorry for complaining diary. I am always hopeful and feel the numbers are on my side and that if I just have patience, I will meet someone. Well, that patience pond is dry and I am really starting to lose faith that there are nice normal guys who just want to meet a nice girl.

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Why did it seem so much easier in our parents time to meet someone who knew how to treat a woman and was not afraid of committment?

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When did our society become so dysfunctional? I am not sure who to blame. Maybe we all share that …. but really Diary, I wish you could speak and tell me where all the normal men are?

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If anyone knows, please email me.

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How Old Is Too Old?

The men I date tend to be anywhere from two to five years older than I am. I heard on the news the other day that in the best, most successful relationships, the man is five years older than the woman and the woman is 27% smarter than the man. I’m pretty smart so according to whatever study came up with the above statistics (including the peculiar 27%) I should be on the right track…which is sort of starting to scare me.

I’m not old, I’m not in my twenties anymore but I don’t have a foot in the grave either, however, the men I’ve been meeting lately are starting to seem REALLY, REALLY old even though the are in the requisite five year range. It’s little things, like waaay more gray hair in person than in the profile pix. Sometimes it’s the extra crows feet and jiggly chin wattles. I met a man for coffee last week, “Mike-The-Cop”, nice man …really…but….he kept forgetting what I’d said to him over the phone the day before. Once he even forgot that I had a son in his twenties….whom I’d been telling him about not ten minutes before. Am I getting that old? I can still recall what I talked about ten minutes ago. That’s a good sign, right?

A degenerating ability to hear correctly is another frightening trend. I was on the phone with another match, “Harry”, making plans to meet for drinks and possibly dinner. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Why don’t we meet at Winberries in Ridgewood? The bar area’s comfortable and if we decide to stay the food is really good.

Harry: OK. I know where Ridgewood is. It’s Wunneries?

Me: No, Winberries.

Harry: Huh? What? WINEries?

Me: No, WinBERRIES…like a strawBERRY? W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.

Harry: Oh. Uh. Whinnies?

Me: No…W…as in wind.

Harry: W

Me: Yes. I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.

Harry: W – A – N -E – E – R -I – E – S.

Me: No …HARRY…listen. ( I speak slowly and deliberately, while suppressing the urge to scream) W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.

Harry: W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S. OH…WINberries!

Me: YES!

Harry: OK, now what’s the address.

I will spare you the rest of the conversation.

Perhaps I should start dating younger men. Let’s see, if the man is five years YOUNGER and the woman is, let’s say 46.5% smarter than he is, will that be a statistically good match? I don’t know..but let’s have some fun with this. Please take the following poll to help me decide. Results will be published in an upcoming post.

[polldaddy poll=2965995]