Thank You Match.com

I have been on dating sites since the internet first became commercial and sites like Match.com boasted hundreds of thousands of users vs. tens of millions of subscribers they do today.

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Please … no comments … it has been a long decade.

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I have met the good, bad and ugly! OK, well a lot more bad and ugly and very few good.

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Through it all, I have remained hopeful. Hopeful that someone would show up that was nice and with whom I connected. Hopeful that the numbers would eventually play in my favor (that is the engineer in me … sorry). Hopeful that someday, God would smile upon me and I would meet someone I actually liked and would want to have a relationship with for the long term.

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I have to say … I have met some very nice guys. I have had some nice relationships. I have developed friendships and creative partnerships with some of the people I met online. But, I have never made a long term love connection. There … I said it! I feel so much better now. Like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

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In the past year, I have to say the quality of people I have met has increased. I did happen to meet someone who I find adorable … sweet … nice … intelligent … and funny. And, he can write complete sentences … and to this wordsmith … that is like hitting the lottery.

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Part of me shakes my head and pinches my cheek (which actually hurts) … and I wonder if I am hallucinating. I cannot believe I actually met someone online with whom I am not only attracted to … but enjoy being with.

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I like to think it is the divine intervention of God and my mother having giggles over tea and some Irish soda bread in heaven.

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Look, I don’t know if this is going to last or go anywhere … but what I like and appreciate is that this person just seems to get me. I am a bit quirky … a bit reserved … a bit sarcastic … and yet they seem to see the person underneath. That intrigues me to be honest. Why them? Why now? I can’t answer that. But, I know I like it and am happy that finally I met someone I can be myself with … sarcastic / funny / sweet / smart / silly / deliberating / dumb … and blond!

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I always thought that reindeer were not real animals … that they were some fictional cartoon animal. Much to surprise a few years ago when I likened an unicorn to a reindeer, I was stopped in my tracks and told that yes, reindeer really do exist. WOW. What a revelation to me. I told this to my nice male suitor … and he laughed and appreciated that in between my sarcasm and intelligence is room for a silly blond. I find that endearing.

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I feel hopeful about relationships … connections … love … and that online dating might just actually work. This person sees beyond the 25 pounds I have to lose and the short fat fingers I inherited from my father and the reserved conservative I like to claim to be … and sees someone who is worthy and deserving of sincere feelings. And, … I like that. It makes me feel happy and I like feeling happy.

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Like I said, I don’t know where this is going … but the fact that match.com brought us together … gives me a reason to thank match.com … an online dating service who all they did was provide the venue to post your pics and profile and search engine for other like minded singles.

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Thank you Match.com

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Thanks to the LifeBytes Readers for letting me ramble!

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Mariann

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Recession Dating

It’s no secret that the economy is in terrible condition. People are out of jobs, earning less money, losing their homes and suffering from the stress of a difficult financial environment.

Regardless who pays for a date, times are tough and it becomes hard to nurture and pursue your future love when you are lacking money. What is a man to do?

It is a humbling experience for everyone. But, there are ways to search for your love and be entertained without a lot of money.

Some suggestions that have arisen are wine tastings at a Liquor store, perusing art galleries, free concerts in the park, an inexpensive picnic, hiking and of course, a bottle of 2 buck chuck and a video.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watchv=wH203snsf00&feature=youtube_gdata_player]

Some of my female friends claim they will not date a guy without a job. I think this is harsh. In this environment, too many intelligent, sharp and well-educated people are searching monster.com for employment. What is more important is ambition and how one deals with unemployment. Is the person actively pursuing a job and thinking outside the box? Or, are they hanging around the house watching the last season of Oprah THINKING about possibly looking for a job? Or, are they sulking and toasting at their own pity party. I prefer the guy who looks forward with resolve, determination and a positive attitude.

Men so identify themselves with their job that it goes to the core of who they are and this can be a devastating blow to their ego, wallets and self-esteem. I personally find women do not tie their identity a job as much as men do and therefore, they seem to rebound a bit quicker.

When the economy turns around, we will not have to ponder these issues so readily. But, in the meantime, please share your economically restrained ideas for a date.

While the economy and employment markets may be letting us down, you can’t give up on love!

Share your stories. We would love to hear them.

Thanks
Mariann

How Old Is Too Old?

The men I date tend to be anywhere from two to five years older than I am. I heard on the news the other day that in the best, most successful relationships, the man is five years older than the woman and the woman is 27% smarter than the man. I’m pretty smart so according to whatever study came up with the above statistics (including the peculiar 27%) I should be on the right track…which is sort of starting to scare me.

I’m not old, I’m not in my twenties anymore but I don’t have a foot in the grave either, however, the men I’ve been meeting lately are starting to seem REALLY, REALLY old even though the are in the requisite five year range. It’s little things, like waaay more gray hair in person than in the profile pix. Sometimes it’s the extra crows feet and jiggly chin wattles. I met a man for coffee last week, “Mike-The-Cop”, nice man …really…but….he kept forgetting what I’d said to him over the phone the day before. Once he even forgot that I had a son in his twenties….whom I’d been telling him about not ten minutes before. Am I getting that old? I can still recall what I talked about ten minutes ago. That’s a good sign, right?

A degenerating ability to hear correctly is another frightening trend. I was on the phone with another match, “Harry”, making plans to meet for drinks and possibly dinner. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Why don’t we meet at Winberries in Ridgewood? The bar area’s comfortable and if we decide to stay the food is really good.

Harry: OK. I know where Ridgewood is. It’s Wunneries?

Me: No, Winberries.

Harry: Huh? What? WINEries?

Me: No, WinBERRIES…like a strawBERRY? W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.

Harry: Oh. Uh. Whinnies?

Me: No…W…as in wind.

Harry: W

Me: Yes. I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.

Harry: W – A – N -E – E – R -I – E – S.

Me: No …HARRY…listen. ( I speak slowly and deliberately, while suppressing the urge to scream) W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S.

Harry: W – I – N -B – E – R – R – I – E – S. OH…WINberries!

Me: YES!

Harry: OK, now what’s the address.

I will spare you the rest of the conversation.

Perhaps I should start dating younger men. Let’s see, if the man is five years YOUNGER and the woman is, let’s say 46.5% smarter than he is, will that be a statistically good match? I don’t know..but let’s have some fun with this. Please take the following poll to help me decide. Results will be published in an upcoming post.

[polldaddy poll=2965995]